This one goes out to A.

by

Actually, i think both Jeanmeanie and her co-habitator A would like this bit from the Guardian. Why can’t the silly bloggy parts of the New York Times and other American newspapers be this awesome? Rule Britannia!

an uncomfortable snakeskin boot?

IgnopediA

Continuing our uniquely unreliable interactive knowledge resource.

Nicolas Cage

Nicolas “Nic” Cage is an American overactor of astonishing range, capable of running the gamut from melancholic brooding to whooping insanity in the blink of an hour. The human equivalent of  Cage is physically reminiscent of a three-way cross between a Teddy Ruxpin doll, Elvis Presley, and a sexually excited tooth salesman.

A career alternating left-field art-house meanderings with eardrum-pounding action spectaculars has assured him a unique position in the Hollywood firmament: despite being one of the most recognisable A-list names on the planet, he refuses to linger in the memory, making it easy to forget he exists at all until he pops up to promote his next movie.

This may explain why he has the saddest eyes of any movie star. Indeed, no matter what the rest of his body is doing, his eyes perpetually remain those of a lonesome hound locked inside an abandoned car, mournfully padding at the window and failing to gain the attention of countless unconcerned passersby.

Despite appearing in the odd bona-fide classic, Cage has also starred in many of the world’s worst and loudest movies – so many that his name has become a piece of cultural terminology: audiences suffering through one of his many overblown clunkers – excruciating chambers of high-concept idiocy from which there is no escape for at least two hours – are said to be trapped within the “Nicolas Cage”.

The first part of that webpage is great, too.

In other news, I am not dead. Just, er, resting from all that exhausting blogging way back in April.

6 Responses to “This one goes out to A.”

  1. E Says:

    oh man, this only confirms my thought about “adaptation:” does the world really need TWO nic cages?

    this, despite the fact that he is a HUGE star now in korea, thanks to his borderline pedophilic marriage to a korean sushi waitress.

    the only good role nic cage has ever had was in “fast times at ridgemont high,” in which he had a non-speaking cameo as “nicholas coppola.”

  2. jeanmeanie Says:

    why doesn’t he find something useful to do with himself and make wine, like his uncle Francis?

    now you have me thinking about Con Air. uggggh.

  3. E Says:

    no no, con air is the one exception to his unimpeacheable awfulness. john cusack + jesus sandals = greatness.

  4. squashi Says:

    plus, you’ve got to love a popcorn movie that lands a giant airplane on the las vegas strip. come on! that’s rockin!

  5. jeanmeanie Says:

    i hate you all.

  6. jeanmeanie Says:

    just kidding. i just hate con air. i believe that it was a major clue to the impending bush2 years.

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