Itchy & Scratchy, the LIVE SHOW



I have not had the pleasure of entertaining many rodent guests in my various apartments. I assume this is a result of sheer luck, rather than of my exemplary housekeeping skills, but nonetheless. We had one little mousie friend in my apartment in the West Village, but honestly it is amazing that it was only one, given that we hadn’t been clever enough to buy a LID for our GARBAGE CAN.

You can probably guess what all this is leading up to. Yup, it appears to be mouse season! On Sunday night I was wholesomely sitting around and reading on the couch in my living room, when I became aware that Ramona, my fuzzy little girl cat, was growling at something. It appeared that she was in danger of knocking over a picture frame that was propped against the wall, so I got up and moved it away, and saw that there was a little grey mouse toy behind it. Except then it started moving. And also, we never GOT the cats a little grey mouse toy.

So, I did what any reasonable adult would do. I screamed “It’s a real mouse!,” and jumped on the couch. Like a big, freakin’ baby.

Ramona went after the little thing, but she didn’t seem to be too intent on killing it, or even to realize that that’s what she was supposed to do. She batted it around with her paws, let it run away a little, caught it again, picked it up in her mouth, dropped it, etc. I thought her little tiger of a brother Iggy might be of some help, so I had A schlep him in from the other room. Boy was I wrong. Ramona growled at him and wouldn’t let him near her awesome new toy. He was interested, but he seemed to realize it was in his interest to just hang back and watch.

Eventually we realized that Ramona wasn’t in a hurry to kill it, and that it might actually be way grosser if she did, so we trapped it under a cup and A disposed of it.

I know, ew.


Last night, we got back from dinner, and I was exhausted so I got right in bed and started watching a fascinating program about pancakes or bacon or something on television. After a little while, I realized I had to tend to my little wild beasts, so I cleaned the litter box and got out their food. As I walked over to their food bowls, I saw that someone had neatly deposited a little dead mouse in the center of one of the bowls. Shit. One mouse is an anomaly, but two mice seems to me a signal of a larger problem.

I am not even sure what to do, since I don’t want to put out any traps or poison that might hurt my little hunters.


An amusing (?) epilogue:

After all that excitement, I had no idea that the cats still had enough creativity and mischief left in them to devise an ENTIRELY NEW prank! This morning when I woke up, I discovered that they had decided to tear open the package of clean litter that we keep near the litter box and spread it all over the floor, creating a little mountain of litter to play in. Yay! Sandbox! I found this completely hilarious, because of the utter pointless destructiveness of it. Way to go, kitties!

One Response to “Itchy & Scratchy, the LIVE SHOW”

  1. squashi Says:

    Up in the hill country where I’m from, we have lots of rodents. Here are some tips:
    1) look for holes and close them up with wads of steel wool. Especially look behind radiators and inside cupboards. Be very thorough. Mice can fit into teeny teeny holes- 1/2 inch diameter, even.

    2) keep all non-refrigerated food (except spices, tea, coffee, etc) in glass or metal containers, so the buggers don’t have anything to eat. Sweep more often (i know, awful. Actually i think you guys would benefit from a roomba).

    3) don’t be afraid to let the cats just do their thing. it may be gross to encounter a dead mouse in the water bowl, but that’s still better than accidentally poisoning your kitties or having to kill the mice yourself. It’s the natural way! I really think that two cats should be able to figure it out without any coaching. Just look where you’re stepping…

    The problem should be gone in a month or so.

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