Archive for the ‘By Squashi’ Category

This one goes out to A.

June 5, 2007

Actually, i think both Jeanmeanie and her co-habitator A would like this bit from the Guardian. Why can’t the silly bloggy parts of the New York Times and other American newspapers be this awesome? Rule Britannia!

an uncomfortable snakeskin boot?


Continuing our uniquely unreliable interactive knowledge resource.

Nicolas Cage

Nicolas “Nic” Cage is an American overactor of astonishing range, capable of running the gamut from melancholic brooding to whooping insanity in the blink of an hour. The human equivalent of  Cage is physically reminiscent of a three-way cross between a Teddy Ruxpin doll, Elvis Presley, and a sexually excited tooth salesman.

A career alternating left-field art-house meanderings with eardrum-pounding action spectaculars has assured him a unique position in the Hollywood firmament: despite being one of the most recognisable A-list names on the planet, he refuses to linger in the memory, making it easy to forget he exists at all until he pops up to promote his next movie.

This may explain why he has the saddest eyes of any movie star. Indeed, no matter what the rest of his body is doing, his eyes perpetually remain those of a lonesome hound locked inside an abandoned car, mournfully padding at the window and failing to gain the attention of countless unconcerned passersby.

Despite appearing in the odd bona-fide classic, Cage has also starred in many of the world’s worst and loudest movies – so many that his name has become a piece of cultural terminology: audiences suffering through one of his many overblown clunkers – excruciating chambers of high-concept idiocy from which there is no escape for at least two hours – are said to be trapped within the “Nicolas Cage”.

The first part of that webpage is great, too.

In other news, I am not dead. Just, er, resting from all that exhausting blogging way back in April.

Court to Women: Drop Dead!

April 18, 2007

Today is a bad day. Insisting that he’s with the majority because this is just a facial challenge to the so-called Partial Birth Abortion ban, Justice Kennedy leaves open the door to an as-applied case– in other words, “come back to us when one of you ladies dies because of this law.”

And coming soon! Court to mentally-ill people who still have some capacity to understand what is happening to them: Drop dead!


April 10, 2007

Is there anything more agonizing in today’s plugged-in world than waiting for netflix dvds that never arrive? I mean, this is PAINFUL. They shipped them on Friday 4/6 and now it’s Tuesday 4/10. Which means we’ve been dvd-less (we mailed all three back at once) since Wednesday. An eternity!

In Ann Arbor, at least, you could bide your time by going to the delicious AAPL and check out as many dvds as you liked. Sadly, it seems the Brooklyn PL only carries VHS (quaint!) and a smattering of children’s movies. I guess I’ll have to start blogging again.

shopping in america– first in a series

March 9, 2007

hangers, from “Untitled-Thrift” by Brian UlrichThis amazing photo essay really spoke to me. I hate to admit it because of my crunchy hippie/commie background, but I do an awful lot of my shopping at big chain stores these days. When we were starting out here in NYC I needed to supplement my aging wardrobe to make it work-ready. Also, our current apartment is more than twice as large as our last one, and we lost a lot of little things in our move (mainly because they wouldn’t fit in our car back from MI). Long story short: I had a lot of consuming to do in the past 6 months. For a while at the beginning, I went to Target around once a week, and most of my current shoe collection was collected at the vile DSW.* And even though they are “discount” or “resale” stores, my work-clothes-sources Filene’s Basement and TJ Maxx are definitely way closer to the evil end than the indie/homemade/anarchist end of the shopping spectrum.

*more about which some other time.

I usually justify my shopping choices by declaring that my massive student debt and middling wage forbid me from patronizing the little locally-owned boutiques in Brooklyn. (Another reason I avoid these places, one which i (WE) will doubtless blog about later, is that i feel decidedly unwelcome and unattractive at many of these boutiques because my pant size is well above the maximum hipster-approved 6.) Despite these rationalizations, I have a nagging inner voice of reason that informs me coldly about all the ultimately expensive externalities I am creating by patronizing places that encourage precisely the type of soulless, environmentally-collapsed, worker-unfriendly country I was raised to complain about bitterly.

The original solution to this angst was Craigslist– which worked really well for furniture and household goods and was relatively easy and fun to use. However, the business-casual clothing on CL leaves a lot to be desired; ebay is no better, so my solution of late has been thrift-store shopping. Thus far, I’ve gotten one suit, several sweaters and shirts, and a handful of forks. Is this really a solution? I felt just as wretched wandering the overstuffed and somewhat filthy isles of Beacon’s Closet and Salvation Army as I did trolling the Union Square Filene’s for ecologically disastrous yet obscenely cheap cashmere sweaters. These thrift stores are (as the essay accompanying the photos points out) really just as sickening a product of our time as the Atlantic Mall Target.

What to do? I really really love pretty stuff, though I also really love the ideal of hippie minimalist anti-consumerism and DIY. I am a ball of contradictions! I don’t really need more than 4 suits, but I am a lawyer! And we just had a 5-day trial, which required me to recycle my first suit on the fifth day, so maybe I actually need 5 suits! Not to mention, it takes about 3 shopping days and a lot of luck to find a decent suit at a thrift store, while there are racks and racks of them waiting to be bought in a short 30 minutes at Ann Taylor Loft.

Sigh. I probably would be a morally and environmentally good person if I wasn’t so preoccupied with all these endless internal debates.

Anyway, Brian Ulrich, the photographer, also has a blog. From a moment’s glance, he seems like the type of artist we’d all like to be.

(p.s. appropriately enough, Talking Heads’ awesome “(Nothing But) Flowers” came on the radio as I wrote this. Here’s to a greener post-apocalyptic hunter-gatherer culture!)

i wish i had thought of this first

March 8, 2007

Ozma (and this guy) on the greatest love mystery of our time.

Music & Lyrics: commentary track ON

March 5, 2007

 (edited to protect the innocent)

E: did you go see music & assme: yes  it was awesome E: and you loved it? me: because it was at court street (@ atlantic)7:43 PM E: yeah, i know that sketchy theater me: and there were all of 10 people in the audience [and we got there really early, to make sure we got seats– i love when that happens] me: and ALL of them were talking constantly over the movie– explaining to their friends what had just been said on screen, talking about what had happened to them earlier in the night, or just commenting on the action in the movie.  It was hilarious–some of the comments were quite insightful. (oO any other night, with any other movie, i would have minded a LOT but somehow the commentary track made this one much better.)7:44 PM Anyway, every time it got sappy, every time Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore kissed or flirted or sang one of their abysmally sugary songs, one lady next to us said (full voice):  “OHH NOOO!!!!! me: I really couldn’t tell whether she was being funny or serious– it sounded like she was saying “I can’t believe this SAPPY SHIT”  me: like she was genuinely surprised and disappointed that there was (gasp!) kissing in a romantic comedy. 
Anyway, the verdict is: if you MUST watch a comedy and the only other options are Norbit and Wild Hogs, Music & Lyrics is not punishingly bad (though i don’t think i would rate it quite as highly as the White Bear). Especially if you turn on the commentary track.

things i have recently consumed which were very good

March 5, 2007

1) corn pudding: 1 part coarse corn meal, 5 parts water (boil water, add corn meal slowly, stir for 10 minutes)– when soft like oatmeal, add: 1 part milk, a bit of butter, some brown sugar, a pinch of nutmeg, and a teaspoon of vanilla extract. This is an excellent breakfast food- so much better than plain oatmeal.

2) red egg noodles: put 1/3 cup mixed currants and raisins in hot water to plump. Toast some walnuts and/or pepitas. Saute an onion, 2 cloves garlic, then add 1/2 bunch red swiss chard chopped up in strips until it wilts (add salt + pepper). Cook egg noodles, toss with a healthy wallop (6 tbls) of browned butter, then add chard/onion mixture, raisins, and nuts. This is especially good if you add a bit of curry powder and/or cinnamon in the butter as it is browning.

3) 30 Rock, generally
4) Grbavica.

do you hear them?

March 1, 2007

I think that is the sound of the wheels of justice… grinding to a halt.

should we do it?

March 1, 2007

REDACTED, what do you think?